Honestly, the last thing I need is another blog. But here I am. Why? Recently I’ve been thinking I could use a place where I could share my more intimate thoughts and feelings about dating and relationships. It’s not that I put up a front on my other blog — I do reference the trials and tribulations of perpetual singledom and dating there from time to time — but just that that isn’t what my audience (small but mighty as it is) comes for.
Let’s be honest, talking about unwanted singledom is hard. It’s hard to talk about it without sounding whiny, bitchy, entitled, jaded, and, well, kind of pathetic. And not only is that not the image any of us want to put out into the world, but it’s also not a message anyone wants to hear.
Moreover, because our hopes and dreams for our relationships are so intimate, it can also be difficult to talk about them with our friends — especially when those friends have different values about relationships than we do.
And yet, it’s important to talk about. It’s hard out there. Trying to find a partner in life is like being stuck in a perpetual job hunt — and increasingly, a job hunt in a gig economy, where values like commitment and responsibility are increasingly seen as unimportant and ‘quaint’. A never-ending string of bad first dates, or great first dates that still don’t lead to second dates. It’s demoralizing. It’s dispiriting. It just plain sucks.
And so, we — I — need to have a venue to talk about it, openly and honestly. In the spirit of honesty, here are the two ground rules I’m setting for myself:
- No holds barred. If I’m going to write in a public space about my intimate feelings and experiences, then I’m going to do it. For real.
- Be gracious. That said, I don’t want it to be a spot for me to bitch about other people. That isn’t who I am and it isn’t who I want to be. Being honest will mean I’ll express my feelings, but I’m also going to do my best to step outside of them too. Feelings are real. But feelings aren’t facts.
And so, if you’ve found your way here, welcome. And thanks for listening.